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# TW:(depression) Its been a long Week
- URL: https://pupontech.com/tw-depression-its-been-a-long-week/
- Published: 2026-09-22T19:52:47.000Z
- Updated: 2026-09-27T12:05:08.000Z
- Description: TW:(depression) Its been a long Week This is gonna be the most personal post I have ever written.
- Author: AY
- Tags: LIfe, life updates, honey, doggo

This is gonna be the most personal post I have ever written. 

These past two weeks have been the month of Elul,with the Jewish High Holidays. Due to the cult I grew up in I have extreme anxiety panic attacks and nightmares during this month. Sunday night Monday were Yom Kippur so I got my typical panic attack and nightmares yay(would be cool if hyperventilating for an hr wasnt such a given , ha).   
  
Anyways today was mostly good but I have been in higher fight or flight mode than typical. Anyways our move has brought extreme grief from Honey and I feel like my[ body was mourning her.](https://pupontech.com/life-update-4-26-26-sciatica-is-killing-me/) 

And now m y brain/heart is mourning her! Posts from Jedda about Cocoa have been helping me slowly proccess [https://notes.jeddacp.com/cocoa/](https://notes.jeddacp.com/cocoa/?ref=pupontech.com) . I struggle with dealing with Honey and her talking about Cocoa really makes me grok a bit better how I am feeling with Honey. Jedda I am so so sorry for your loss, but I have to thank you for helping me proccess a bit.   
  
Today was a very decent day . Even did a Decaf cupping from [Frequent Coffee ](https://frequentcoffee.com/?ref=pupontech.com)with M. But it hit me after that Honey isnt here to hang with us on the porch ......  
  
I have been listening to this playlist   
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMQ1NXpIQlQ&list=RDEMQazGLdS7KWMiVZjBd3Lbyg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMQ1NXpIQlQ&list=RDEMQazGLdS7KWMiVZjBd3Lbyg&ref=pupontech.com) if your feeling like I am I hope it helps.  
  
  
Rip Honey,  
AY

This is day 38 of #100DaysToOffload